#the more he began to want

[bosspigeon]

what was the relationship between gortash and your durges pre-lobotomy? how do they feel when they meet him again?

:3 soooo originally i thought it would be REALLY funny if Gortash was shooting his shot so hard but Maw (pre-lobo Moss~) was just So Autistic he just didn't get it

but then i realized i could go deeper and much more painful :3c

i stand by Moss being a Big Ol' Virgin before Astarion, bc i, personally, think that makes for a very fun(ny) dynamic and also fits in with the character i've already established for Maw, and that was that he was so single-mindedly focused on his duty to Bhaal and his destiny that he didn't really bother with seeking out any sort of bond with anyone, much less enough for him to start feeling sexual attraction towards them. his duty was Murder and he was very, very, very good at it, and that came from a lifetime of dedication

but i think, meeting Gortash, someone he saw as more of an equal than even Orin (who he saw as his lesser by virtue of him being made by Bhaal from his own flesh and her being a second-generation spawn from a first-generation spawn that he still considered imperfect as well as misguided wrt his ideas about Blood Purity) and eventually befriending him over their shared passions and dedication to their respective patron gods, opening him up to actually making his own adult bond with someone else for the first time in his entire life

his relationship with Gortash started as a business deal and eventually turned into companionship and his first genuine friendship. and from there, feelings began to emerge on both sides, but seeing as Maw had a lot of practice shoving down any Softer Feelings he may have had (and an adolescence of Firm Guidance into perfection overseen by Sceleritas, who served Bhaal first and foremost) so before Orin betrayed him, they never got further than a very heavy, very dangerous Almost.

[tumatawa]

My old Tezuka phase is crawling back to me...

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 18 - Legacy

"This legacy I've inherited; these remnants of your Oblivion..."

[somepinkthing]

Shapeshifter nie huaisang AU:

His mother was qinhe nie's spymaster, hired specifically for her unique cultivation ability to change into various shapes. She was a wanderer prior to settling down with her lovers, an experience that allowed her to throughly observe many different animals up close. So while she could become an array of animals (though mostly smaller, quiet ones), nie huaisang seemed to only ever be able to do birds. Or rather, he only seemed interested in doing birds and all his parental figures passed before they could enforce upon him the importance of branching out. As a result of his single-mindedness and artistic eye however, he can basically do any bird he sets his eyes on and replicates it better than even his mother could. He's even started to be able to converse with a few of the species he favors.

It doesn't really amount to much more than a cool party trick... until the wens start to up the ante. At first, it's just a handy way to get away. It isn't until the attack on the unclean realms that nie huaisang first takes advantage of his skill in the form of a giant vulture snagging the side of wen zhuiliu's face during the fight. It almost gives nie mingjue a heart attack but luckily the wens don't seem to realize that it's huaisang. The nie's don't exactly go around broadcasting their cultivation styles after all.

They do burn down his aviary in retaliation though. Which is... extremely upsetting actually. His mother had built that for him.

Then the indoctrination period comes around. Nie huaisang suddenly finds himself in a unique position of being the only one who can escape rather easily. When he fake faints, he fully intends to do so. But. But...

Wei wuxian who checked on him, jiang cheng who came to yell at him about staying hydrated, jin zixuan who awkwardly peaked into the sickroom, lan wangji who was injured and grieving and sadder than huaisang ever remembers seeing him. Even if he could leave them behind, there was still the small retinue of nies that came with him. For the first time in his life, he feels the weight of responsibility that comes with being someone with the ability to actually do something—to gather information, to search for escape routes, to snag some medical supplies. In this situation, he can actually help.

It sucks.

He'll do it but he's gonna complain

[mukimokai]

hey you!!!

wanna hear one of my fic ideas for a canon rewrite that will absolutely shatter your heart????

yeah...

you've been warned..

.

TW!!!

dr//g ab*se, attempted su!c!de

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alhaitham attempted to overdose after the argument with kaveh over their thesis.

.

they basically screamed each others throats off that day; they've argued over their differing ideals before but it was never this bad, and the fight eventually got a bit physical, and there was a lot of hairpulling, scratching, pulling each other up by the collar, because they weren't just arguing about the thesis anymore, they were mad at each other. until alhaitham pointed out kaveh's fatal flaw, how his altruism is going to fail him one day, and kaveh, who can't handle the truth, yanks at alhaithams hair again, telling him to fuck off, that he wishes he never met him, all through pained, angry tears. and then, he lets go and leaves, bolting out the front door and not even bothering to close it.

it was one of the first times in alhaitham's life that he had ever let his emotions get the better of him, and he watched kaveh run out of the door, panting and shaking, tears prickling the corners of his eyes out of pure, unadulterated frustration. and alhaitham realizes at this moment that he'd lost someone. again.

oh yes, alhaitham's all alone again!! no one cares about him anymore!! he'd just lost the last person in the world who gave a damn!! silly alhaitham!! all because you're you. because you had to open your mouth again. because you had to say something. all you wanted was to help, but nobody understands that. nobody ever will. to them, you're just a cold, calculated, arrogant, cocky, bastard. and look what you've done now.

the thought breaks him, and he crumbles to the ground in what can only be described as a meltdown, a very violent one. vases are shattered, kitchen wear chucked across the room, books thrown around carelessly, all while he screams curses into the air, directed at no one, maybe at Kusanali, maybe at Celestia, who knows, but he screams anyway, bordering on babbles as he stumbles to his room, dizzy and distressed and grabs the bottle of prescription drugs (working on what kind of drug currently). It's not full, it's almost empty actually, only about 10 tablets at the bottom, but alhaitham, hands shaking, laughs incredulously at himself, and eats all of them.

or at least: tries to...

the commotion he'd made upset his neighbours. initially, they were storming over to his house with the Matra beside them to have him taken care of but upon arrival, they were horrified. The matra with them practically tackled alhaitham, making him spit out the 3 pills he had in his mouth when they found him in his room; he had already taken 5. they dragged him to the bimarstan as fast as he could, the neighbours following in terror and worry.

alhaitham was saved that day and the memory still haunts him. he was so clouded with emotion he'd lost all sense of what he was doing and just felt, and it scared him how his own feelings took control of him. At that point, alhaitham only closed up even further, basically forcing on his poker face and shoving down his feelings because he never wanted to feel so vulnerable again. he doesn't want to feel. it hurts to feel. strong feelings only bring pain. more pain than alhaitham could bear.

so alhaitham chose to hide this story, he never told anyone about it, not even a single detail. but kaveh, who moved back in eventually and now lived with alhaitham for about a year since their argument, was tidying up when he found a bottle of pills under alhaitham's bed, it was practically empty, only 2 pills remained.

concerned, he questions alhaitham about it later and it was the first time he'd seen alhaitham genuinely look scared. when kaveh explained he'd found it under his bed, alhaitham snatched away the bottle and disposed of it in the trash, cursing himself for not having found it last year when the incident happened and couldn't believe it had been there the whole time.

kaveh isn't an idiot, he pieced it together the moment he saw alhaitham's reaction. he just stands there, completely speechless and horrified. all he can say is "when..?"

and alhaitham, for the first time since their school years, responds in a shaky, miserable voice, "a year ago."

and kaveh is stunned, just staring at alhaitham, who seemed so unreachable when he moved in, suddenly looking so heartbreakingly vulnerable.

he doesn't say anything.

kaveh just hugs him, buries alhaitham's face into his shoulder and hugs him. and he swears he can hear soft, weak sounds coming from the scribe, and he swears the fabric over his shoulders became damp, but he doesn't say anything.

he just holds him.

i'm sorry. come at my throat all you'd like.

⠀

⠀

⠀

[bitemarx]

her and duck newton.. chosen ones who stare down fate like a barrel to the head and chose to walk away. literally so interesting 2 me

anyway. hero oak #1 mami tomoe defender.

[djappleblush]

So, there I was one late evening minding my own damn business and living a relatively quiet life when I scrolled yt and suddenly a vision came up in the form of this short clip and I was like, "HOLD UP WTF THAT GUY LOOKS SO HOT AND COOL" so I scrolled back and HOLY SH!T IS THAT MILES TELLER??? WHAT??? HOW???? WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HOT ALL OF A SUDDEN????

And that's the story of how I spiraled into my new obsession with Miles Teller in the year of our lord 2025.

This is the vision that passed me, by the way:

[xxplastic-cubexx]

after finally playing scarlet witch long enough to get this icon ive decided that you really have to love wanda to get this icon

anyway Bonus cause Heh....... Fam.....

[mcytegg]

zams love for 4c has him completely doubting how he does things im so :'))))

[leaf-in-a-flower-garden]

Allumos redesign because why not

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,

I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.

Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,

It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more

And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)

So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"

And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,

I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.

And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"

Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?

Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical

[beanmaster-pika]

I bet when Silver was very small he just called Malleus by name but eventually someone told him that they’re supposed to address him with a title and he stopped and Malleus, whose whole thing is that his status and strength have prevented him from forming meaningful attachments with most people and he feels isolated because of it, went home and didn’t come out of his room for three days.

[seethinglikeme]

i need to watch the rest of teen wolf. and maybe rewatch the first few seasons too tbh my issue is that the first few seasons just have better vibes. like u buy that its a small town in nocal but then all of a sudden like season 3? hits and it's a medium to large town in socal like what are we doing here people. if our teenage werewolf show doesn't have fog and forests and smaller semi realistic sets. what are we fucking doing

[orphiicheartd]

This is giving me so many thinkings abt Azul and the tweels back in the Coral Sea

[ragsy]

Marcus Andrew Stevens, AKA Mark, AKA Dogmark Mandog | he/him | somewhere between 27-32 years old

Perpetually going through it, hanging on by a goddamn thread at all possible moments

Generally very polite and soft spoken, but prone to fits of rage when overwhelmed

Has only been a dogman for a few years and is still grappling with the change

Not particularly fond of himself, but cares very very much about the wellbeing of others

[lim4lim0n]

Ref and Alt version for the second one: